We reach the junction between Central Park and the car park opposite GPO after the long walk from the Heron Portico hotel where we had a doctors’ training seminar. It’s usually quite challenging to cross that road because it is at the roundabout and cars are moving fast, taking sharp turns to connect to the Uhuru highway lanes to await in traffic.

Finally, a heavy crowd gathers along there and we are able to overpower the vehicles with a collective bargaining strategy and dash over to the middle square waiting lane. There we waited for only 5 seconds though still impatiently- Kenyans ooh. Once the police stopped the long vehicle convoy, we dashed over to the other side. If you could be viewing from an Aerial view, you would see us looking like a group of ducks racing for bread on the other side of the lake. Now the convoy was grounded in traffic… and I thought… ooh… what if I chose to drive today. Scratch that, I don’t have a car yet. YET being the key word here abi.

Walking straight on, there was a visually impaired lady but oh so lovely, ever smiling. She looked at me with a smiley face and I couldn’t resist to purchase her product. Despite eating junk food the whole day, I still had appetite for more sweet stuff. Am such a sweet tooth kinda person and a sweet person as well.

“Nisaidie na PK ya 5 bob, … “ She indicates to me with her arms, again with the wildest smile on that lane, that PK ni 8 bob. I search vigorously for 3 baab in my bag and there it is, I purchase. Her friends and colleagues at the charity sweepstake tin shop and a taxi driver are always watching out for her. One cannot dupe her. Note that some people live on that 8 bob per day in the slums. It could even be that lady selling to me especially if she has other mouths to feed. So don’t be looking at me like ooh l should have bought two PKs… we be on a budget booboo.


Onwards I walk and the beautiful skyscrapers of Nairobi city do not cease to amaze my persona. It’s a digital city. Davido advert, Cocacola and Pam Goldings on the huge city TV screens… l know… New York in Nairobi, but do we mention. Reminds me of the biggest screen in the world in Dubai… The Sheiks like going all extra but then hey, it’s a worldwide topnotch tourist destination. Okay, okay. Let’s go back to Nairobi now.Lakini that gigantic Johnny walker advert… they should just remove it ooh. Imekaa sana. You can’t miss knowing it if you stay in Nairobi. Or is the whole building owned by Johnny Walker? Anyhu…

An old man with a cowboy hat, a short, plump bearded man, a super tall Sikh when you get near Ngara of course with the distinct kilemba, a young lady with an African headgear on burr of course not as huge as Orie Rogo’s haha.

Amazing tropical weather. Book a vacay.

Friendly, vibrant, outgoing individuals.

Deep culture. You will see it everywhere. A Maasai carrying raw blood in a 5kg plastic bottle can pass you by. Oh and sometimes they mix it with milk, so hey… whichever you like… to your preference. They say this diet is super healthy and there is no mention of cavities in their community.

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It is bragged to be the most intelligent city in Africa being home to Mpesa and an all year round business hub hosting both local, regional and international envoys as well. But do we say. The Blue Economy conference has just been concluded today 29th November 2018.

So onto Naivas… ile ilireplace Barclays Bank. 24 hours for ourselves… yasss. There are these tamu jello sweets called vampire teeth… l know weird… but if you were to eat them and you have a sweet tooth like moi… you would become completely addicted.

So l bought them so that I could share them with my young colleagues the next day. I called it dessert after food at the local kibanda we frequent. Their pilau issa classic though and ni mob pia. Affordability is key.

Nairobi Uni students… coming from Sonford of course, having eaten tons of fries..laughing louder than the usual expected tone and occupying significantly huge spaces on the footpaths as they slowly descend to their bus stages. The older men going home from work wonder in dismay why they’re laughing so loud… huh, millenials.

Does Bata have an offer now? No …. Arrgh… No buy 3 pairs of shoes get a 50% discount on the third? Oh well… next time.

Ambassador stage. There are over 2000 people over there. Double Ms, KBS and Citti hoppas hopping in and out of the place like the daily agenda dictates. Double M with the longest line as usual because at least that mat is not a boom twaf and the seats are somewhat orthopedically friendly with leg space and all. There’s people jam there and everyone has to watch out for their property… Not a good place to chuck your lphone and catch a chat with your friend on the other end for an hour even as you await to board the matatu. Oh and by the way, Michuki rules are coming back into play, buckle up. Don’t we want to leave a legacy like Michuki…Il mean… they’re still called Michuki rules even after he is long gone into the unknown realm of beyond and yonder.

Like sands through the hour glass, these are the days of our lives. This is where our little Nairobi mind-trip ends. Hope you’ve fancied the tour and if you live abroad… hope you shall be visiting my city, my town some day soon. Prezzo and I will pick you at the airport. Look out for bling bling… kaching.

Welcome to Nairobi… city of the sun but called cool waters actually. Let’s chill.

Like sands through the hourglass, these are the visages of Nairobi!!!

Life is tough, but life is beaurifuuuu #TheQuotistKE

Much love,


Muthoni Kirumba

The author Muthoni Kirumba

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